One day, Jibraeel (AS) came to our Rasool (SAW) and said: “Woe to that person, in whose presence both parents or one of them attain old age and, through failure to serve them, is not allowed to enter Jannat. The prophet (SAW) said: “Ameen.”
The Ulamaa and Islamic scholars have stated that it is compulsory to obey one’s parents as long as it is a permissible action in shariah which he is being instructed to perform. Even if one’s parents are unbelievers, one must still be respectful and humble towards them.
The Prophet (SAW) has said concerning the parents: “They are your Jannat and Jahanam.” In other words, your parents can be your means of attaining paradise through serving them, or your means of attaining Hellfire, through disobedience to them.
One of the main distinguishing characteristics of a true believer is that he is respectful and kind to his parents. Islam encourages and teaches about respecting our parents, as Allah says:
“Your lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say: “My Lord bestow on them your mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood.”
Many ayats of Quraan and many Ahadeeth have been documented concerning one’s kindness and obedience towards parents.
Once Rasoolullah (SAW) asked the companions three times:
“Shall I tell you the greatest sins?”
The companions said: “Yes O Messenger of Allah (SAW).”
He (SAW) said: “Associating partners with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.”
The mere fact that Allah (SWT) mentions disobedience towards one’s parents in the same verse alongside with that of Shirk proves that it is indeed one of the greatest sins in Islam.
The Prophet (SAW) has given precedence to the mother over the father since he has said in a Hadith to a man who asked him: “O messenger of Allah (SAW), who among people is the most deserving of my good company?”
He said: “Your mother.”
Then the man asked, “Then who?”
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Your mother.”
Then the man asked, “Then who?”
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Your mother.”
Then the man asked, “Then who?”
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Then you father.”
Allah (SWT), in the Holy Quraan has mentioned the reason for this preference of the mother, is because of pregnancy and breast feeding the baby which only a mother can endure.
Allah (SWT) says in Sura 31, Verse 14
“And we have enjoined on men (to be good) to his parents, in difficulty upon difficulty did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning.
Show gratitude to Me (Allah) and to your parents, and to Me is your final goal.”
Once Ibn Umar (RA), a companion of the Prophet (SAW) saw a Yemeni man doing tawaaf or circumambulation of the Kaaba, carrying his mother upon his shoulders. The man said to Ibn Umar (RA), “I am like a tame camel for her, I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back?”
Ibn Umar (RA) replied, “No, not even for one contraction.”
In another narration, once a man came to Ibn Abbas (RA), another companion of the Prophet (SAW), and a very learned scholar. The man confessed that he had killed someone and wanted to make amends for this sin. Ibn Abass asked him: “Is your mother alive?” The man said, No. So Ibn Abbas (RA) told him, “Repent to Allah and do your best to draw close to him.”
Ata bin Yassar heard this and went up to Ibn Abbas (RA) and asked, “Why did you asked him if his mother was alive?” He said, “Because I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect towards one’s mother.”
Kindness and respect towards parents are important matters in Islam since this emminates from the strongest of human ties, that is, the bond between parent and child. Not only should the believer care for his parents by being obedient to them and showing love and kindness towards them, but even after they die, he should pray for them, give charity on their behalf, pay off whatever debts they may owe to Allah and to others.
As Jibrael (AS) had said to our Prophet (SAW), that person who have both parents, or even one parent alive, should serve that parent and be obedient to him or her and through such obedience, it will be a means of attaining paradise. Otherwise, such a person who failed to be granted paradise whjlst his parents were alive, is indeed unfortunate. As Jibraeel (AS) has said: ‘Woe or Doom unto that person, in whose presence both parents or one of them attain old age, and (through failure to serve them) is not allowed to enter Jannat. And the Prophet (SAW) answered this Dua by saying Ameen.”
Let us make every effort to serve our parents by being obedient to them, since this can be our means of success or failure in the hereafter. And if our parents have died, then continue to serve them, by making Duas for them, and giving charity in their name.
